36 parenting decisions for the first year

How much of the day runs on adult-set schedules and rules versus following the child's own rhythms and interests.

3 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Whether your child fits into an adult-run household or the household is organized around the child's needs and schedule.

3 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Which of you is called when your child is sick, needs to be picked up or has an appointment, and whether that is fixed, alternates or follows who has the more flexible day.

4 options · Your call · 6–12 months

What you will do to avoid running yourselves into the ground: scheduled rest, lowering standards, or buying or asking for help.

4 options · Evidence leans one way · 0–6 months

How you will handle the stretches when one of you is away or working late: whether the home parent keeps their own rules, routines stay the same, backup is arranged, or the other parent makes up time later.

4 options · Your call · 6–12 months

Whether to have a quick procedure to release the tissue under the tongue if a baby is thought to have a tongue-tie that affects feeding.

3 options · Evidence leans one way · 0–6 months

How long you hope to breastfeed and whether and when to stop night feeds.

4 options · Your call · 6–12 months

The age at which you begin offering foods other than milk.

3 options · Well established · 0–6 months

Whether the first foods are spoon-fed purees, finger foods the baby picks up and feeds themselves (called baby-led weaning), or a mix of both.

4 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Whether and when to give common allergy-causing foods such as peanut and egg to your baby, and how to keep offering them.

3 options · Well established · 0–6 months

What you offer first when starting solids, such as iron-rich foods, fruit and vegetables, or infant cereal.

2 options · Well established · 0–6 months

Whether you make your baby's food yourself, buy jars and pouches, or use some of each.

3 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Whether your child has juice or foods with added sugar in the first two years, and how strictly you hold that line.

3 options · Well established · 6–12 months

Whether you follow the baby's cues for feeding and sleep, build a flexible routine, or set a firm schedule.

4 options · Evidence leans one way · 0–6 months

Whether and how to teach your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own.

6 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Whether you teach your baby simple hand signs for things like milk or more before they can talk.

3 options · Your call · 6–12 months

Who decides what a child eats and how much.

4 options · Experts disagree · 6–12 months

Whether you buy organic food for your family, all of it, selectively, or not at all.

3 options · Your call · 6–12 months

The overall way your family eats: omnivore, mostly vegetarian with some meat, vegetarian, or vegan.

4 options · Experts disagree · 6–12 months

Vaccines train the body to fight specific diseases.

4 options · Guidance changing · 6–12 months

How readily you give medicine for everyday illness such as fevers, colds and aches: treating promptly, waiting and focusing on comfort, or keeping medicine to a minimum in favor of natural remedies.

3 options · Evidence leans one way · 6–12 months

Whether you use treatments outside conventional medicine, such as herbal remedies, homeopathy or acupuncture, and how that fits with your pediatrician.

3 options · Your call · 6–12 months

Fluoride is a natural mineral that strengthens tooth enamel and helps prevent cavities.

4 options · Guidance changing · 6–12 months

When you start dental visits and brushing and how you handle thumb-sucking and pacifier use.

3 options · Evidence leans one way · 6–12 months

How you handle sun: strict covering and avoidance, sunscreen with outdoor time, or a relaxed approach.

3 options · Evidence leans one way · 0–6 months

How thoroughly you childproof the home: gates, locks and anchors everywhere, only the most dangerous hazards, or minimal changes with teaching and watching.

3 options · Your call · 0–6 months

How you teach water safety and swimming: lessons from a young age, infant survival-swim programs, or lessons later with fencing and supervision.

3 options · Well established · 6–12 months

How many hours a day and week your child spends in care, from full days to part-time or occasional.

4 options · Evidence leans one way · 6–12 months

Who may look after your child when you are out, and how soon you start, from regular sitters to family only.

4 options · Your call · 0–6 months

When your baby first spends a night away from you, for example with grandparents.

4 options · Your call · 6–12 months

Whether you enroll your baby or toddler in classes such as music, gym or early learning, and how many.

4 options · Your call · 0–6 months

Whether babies and toddlers under two see screens at all, such as video calls only, occasional shared viewing, or screens as part of the day.

4 options · Evidence leans one way · 0–6 months

Whether and how you save for your child's education.

4 options · Your call · 0–6 months

How much travel is part of family life, from waiting until children are older to easy local trips to travel as a core value.

4 options · Your call · 6–12 months

How far apart you would like your children to be: close together, moderately spaced or wide apart.

3 options · Evidence leans one way · 6–12 months

How you handle taking your child abroad, getting passports and moving away: either parent freely, notice and itineraries, or joint consent.

3 options · Your call · 0–6 months