FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Short answers about what the app is, how it works and what it does with your answers.
What is Raising Your Child?
Raising Your Child is a free web app for couples, a parenting alignment tool. You go through parenting decisions together, one at a time. Each one shows the real options, how strong the evidence is and questions to talk through, and what you agree is kept as a plan. If you would rather not sway each other, each of you can answer separately first and compare.
Who is it for?
It is made for two people raising a child together, especially expecting and first-time parents. It also works later on, because topics run from pregnancy through the teen years.
How does it work?
There are four steps. First, pick where to start: the stage you are in or the areas on your mind. Second, take one decision together and look at the options and the evidence. Third, talk it through, then mark it decided or flag it to come back to. Fourth, everything you agreed is kept on one page called Our plan. Answering separately first and comparing is optional.
Is it free?
Yes. The app is free to use.
Do we need an account?
No. You can start right away and your answers are saved in your browser. Creating an account with an email address lets you keep your answers and open them on another device.
How do two partners use it together?
The usual way is to sit down together, choose Both in the switcher at the top, and decide each topic as a pair. To answer separately first, switch to your own name and then your partner’s, and open Compare, under Our plan, to see where you match. On separate devices, each of you answers on your own, then one exports their answers as a file and the other imports it in Compare.
What topics does it cover?
It covers 281 decisions in 23 areas: how we decide together, parenting philosophy and goals, roles, work and the couple, pregnancy, birth and arrival, newborn medical choices, feeding the baby, sleep, everyday baby care, discipline and behavior, emotions and resilience, food and eating, health, body and toileting, safety, risk and independence, childcare and early learning, school and academics, play, activities and enrichment, screens, phones and digital life, the teen years, money, chores and responsibility, values, character and family culture, extended family and community, family size and siblings, legal, financial and "what if" planning.
Does it tell us which choice is right?
No. For each decision it lays out the real options without ranking them, and labels how strong the evidence is. Many parenting decisions come down to values, and the app says so when that is the case.
Is it a parenting compatibility test?
It can be used as one. If each of you answers separately, Compare shows for each decision whether your two answers match, counts how many you already agree on and lists the ones worth a conversation, which is more detail than a single compatibility score. Most couples simply go through the decisions together.
How is Raising Your Child different from Parent Align?
Parent Align is a free parenting compatibility assessment. Each parent answers 30 questions across 10 dimensions, such as discipline, routine and screen time, and the two of you get an alignment score with conversation prompts. Raising Your Child goes decision by decision instead. Each of you answers the same 281 specific questions, such as where the baby sleeps or when a child gets a phone. Every question shows the real options, how strong the evidence is and its sources, and the app keeps what you decide as a plan you can share. A short assessment is a good first look at how alike your styles are. Raising Your Child is for working through the decisions themselves.
How does it compare with other tools for couples?
Card decks such as the Gottman 52 Questions Before Baby prompt open conversation, Fair Play divides household tasks, and couples apps such as Paired cover the relationship in general. Raising Your Child is only about parenting decisions. It gives each one concrete options and labelled evidence, has each partner answer separately, and records what you decided. The Alternatives page compares each of these in turn.
Where does the information come from?
Each topic links to its sources, such as pediatric bodies, public-health agencies and published studies. Each topic also carries one of six evidence labels, from Well established to Your call, so you can see whether guidance is settled, contested or a matter of preference.
Is it medical advice?
No. It is general information to help two parents talk and decide. Medical questions about your pregnancy or your child belong with your doctor, midwife or pediatrician.
Is it religious?
No. Raising Your Child is secular and does not assume any faith.
What happens to our answers and notes?
Your answers and notes stay in your browser, and in your account if you create one. Private notes are never included when you share your plan. The site records anonymous usage, such as which topics are opened, without names, notes or anything you type in your own words.
When should we start?
Any time, but pregnancy is ideal. Topics are sorted by when they matter, and 98 of them are best settled before or around the birth. You do not have to decide everything at once.
What is a cornerstone decision?
A cornerstone is one of 26 decisions that shape many others, such as how you make decisions together or who does night duty. They are a good place to start.
Can we change our minds?
Yes. Nothing is locked. You can change an answer or reopen a decision at any time.