When one parent travels or works long hours
How you will handle the stretches when one of you is away or working late: whether the home parent keeps their own rules, routines stay the same, backup is arranged, or the other parent makes up time later.
How do we parent when one of us travels or works long hours?
In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Home parent runs own rules; Same routines regardless; Paid or family backup; Traveller compensates on return. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: 6–12 months.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- 6–12 months
- Part of
- How we work as a team
When one parent travels or works long hours: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.
1. Home parent runs own rules
The parent at home runs things their own way while the other is away.
2. Same routines regardless
The routines and rules stay the same whoever is home.
3. Paid or family backup
You arrange a sitter or relative to help the parent at home.
4. Traveller compensates on return
The parent who was away takes on more when they are back.
When one parent travels or works long hours: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
No outcome research gathered on this yet — treat it as a preference.
What else is worth knowing?
When one parent is away, the other is doing the work of two. This is about whether routines stay the same, what help the home parent gets, and how the load is rebalanced afterward. It matters most when absence is regular.
Questions to ask each other
- When one of us is away, what do we each need from the other?
- Should the routines and rules stay the same when one of us is gone?
- How do we make up for time away without the other feeling taken for granted?
More in Roles, work and the couple
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.