Toddler hitting and biting

Q: Toddler hitting and biting: what are the options?

There are 3 main approaches: Block and remove; Time-out; Time-in.

Q: Toddler hitting and biting: what does the evidence say?

Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Hitting and biting are developmentally common: they tend to peak around age two, when toddlers have strong feelings but little language or impulse control. Longitudinal research finds physical aggression rises over roughly the first 30-42 months and then declines steadily, with a minority using it much more often and boys declining later than girls. ZERO TO THREE advises staying calm, naming the feeling, saying "no hitting" with a firm hand-hold, offering an acceptable outlet, and responding the same way every time, with a calm-down corner rather than punishment; it suggests seeking help if aggression is frequent, unprovoked, follows major upheaval or interferes with play and learning. Exactly which response (blocking, time-out or time-in) you choose is a values call

How you respond when a toddler hits or bites, which is common at this age: stopping and removing them, a time-out or a time-in.

What do we do when our toddler hits or bites?

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Block and remove; Time-out; Time-in. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: toddler.

Evidence: Evidence leans one way
Best settled: Toddler
Part of: Raising the child

Toddler hitting and biting: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 3 approaches.

1. Block and remove
You stop the hand or move the child away, calmly.
2. Time-out
The child has a short time-out.
3. Time-in
You stay with the child and talk about what happened.

Toddler hitting and biting: what does the evidence say?

Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational.

Hitting and biting are developmentally common: they tend to peak around age two, when toddlers have strong feelings but little language or impulse control. Longitudinal research finds physical aggression rises over roughly the first 30-42 months and then declines steadily, with a minority using it much more often and boys declining later than girls. ZERO TO THREE advises staying calm, naming the feeling, saying "no hitting" with a firm hand-hold, offering an acceptable outlet, and responding the same way every time, with a calm-down corner rather than punishment; it suggests seeking help if aggression is frequent, unprovoked, follows major upheaval or interferes with play and learning. Exactly which response (blocking, time-out or time-in) you choose is a values call

Sources

What else is worth knowing?

Hitting and biting are developmentally common around age two and usually fade as language grows. Staying calm, stopping the action and offering another way to express the feeling are the usual advice. Reacting the same way each time helps.

Questions to ask each other

How do we each expect to react when our toddler hits or bites another child?
What would we say to the other child's parent?
Which response feels right and which feels harsh?

More in Discipline and behavior

First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.