Do we have to sit down together?

No. Each of you answers alone. You only need to exchange one file to compare.

Will my co-parent see my private notes?

The exported file is a full copy of your answers, including any notes you wrote, so leave notes out if you plan to send it. A read-only link to your plan, which you can create once signed in, never includes private notes.

Does it work for children of any age?

Yes. Topics run from pregnancy to the teen years, and you can filter to your child’s stage.

For co-parents

For co-parents: agree on the essentials across two homes

Two homes do not have to run identically. It helps to know which rules you share and where you have each chosen differently on purpose. This gives you a neutral list to work from.

In short

Each co-parent answers the same questions separately, on their own device. One exports their answers as a file and the other imports it to see where the two homes match. The app covers decisions, such as discipline, screens, bedtime and money. It does not handle schedules, messages or expenses.

What tends to come up

Different rules in each home for screens, bedtime or discipline.
Big decisions, such as schooling, a first phone or medical care, that need both of you.
Conversations that slide back into old arguments.
No shared place where what you agreed is written down.

Decisions to start with

Each links to a page with the options parents choose between, how strong the evidence is, and questions to ask each other.

Major versus day-to-day decision rights
Which parenting decisions need both of you to agree (big ones like medical care or schools) and which can be made by whichever parent is on duty (what to wear, snack, nap).
4 options · Your call · During pregnancy
Tie-breaking when we disagree
What you will do when you each want something different and neither will budge.
5 options · Your call · During pregnancy
United front
Whether you back each other up in front of your child even when you disagree, and where the exceptions are.
4 options · Evidence leans one way · During pregnancy
Disagreeing in front of the child
Whether your child will see you disagree, and how: never, calmly with a visible resolution, or without a filter.
4 options · Evidence leans one way · Toddler
Consequences
What happens after a child breaks a rule: letting natural results happen, a related consequence, taking away a privilege, an unrelated punishment, or solving the problem together.
5 options · Experts disagree · Toddler
Bedtime structure
How firm bedtime is: a fixed early time and routine, a flexible window, or letting the child decide when they are tired.
3 options · Well established · Toddler
How limits are set, ages 6-12
How you set screen rules for school-age children: fixed minutes, weekday and weekend rules, rules about content and context, or letting the child regulate.
4 options · Your call · School age
First device and first smartphone
When your child gets their first phone and what kind, from a smartwatch or basic phone to a full smartphone.
4 options · Experts disagree · Tween
Who pays for big items (phone, car, university)
Who pays for large costs as your child grows: parents pay, a set contribution, matching, or the child pays.
4 options · Your call · Teen
Travel consent, passports and relocation
How you handle taking your child abroad, getting passports and moving away: either parent freely, notice and itineraries, or joint consent.
3 options · Your call · 0–6 months
Revisiting agreements
How you will keep your decisions current as your child grows, whether that means a set check-in, a review at each age, or only when something goes wrong.
4 options · Your call · Ongoing

How to use it in your situation

1
Each of you answers on your own device, in your own time. Neither of you sees the other’s answers while answering.
2
One of you exports your answers as a file from Compare, under Our plan, and sends it. The other imports it there.
3
Go through the differences and mark what you both accept as decided. The plan page is your written record; you can print it.

What it does not do

It is not a custody calendar, a messaging tool or an expense tracker; a co-parenting app does those. It is not legal advice, and it is not a parenting plan a court will recognize. If talking directly is not safe or not possible, work with a mediator or a family lawyer instead.

Questions

Do we have to sit down together?: No. Each of you answers alone. You only need to exchange one file to compare.
Will my co-parent see my private notes?: The exported file is a full copy of your answers, including any notes you wrote, so leave notes out if you plan to send it. A read-only link to your plan, which you can create once signed in, never includes private notes.
Does it work for children of any age?: Yes. Topics run from pregnancy to the teen years, and you can filter to your child’s stage.

In a different situation?

Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical or legal advice.