Our children are older. Is this still useful?

Yes. The app covers decisions through the school and teen years, such as homework, phones, curfews and money, and you can filter to your children’s stage.

What if we disagree on almost everything?

Start small. Pick one area, compare, and settle one decision. The cornerstone decisions about how you decide together are a good first step, because they make later ones easier.

Can we change an answer later?

Yes. Nothing is locked. You can change an answer or reopen a decision at any time.

For getting back in sync

For parents who want to get back on the same page

A recurring argument is often one decision that never got an explicit answer. Seeing your two answers side by side turns it into something specific you can talk about.

In short

Take the decisions you keep arguing about one at a time, with the real options and the evidence in front of you both. If the conversation tends to go the same way every time, answer separately first: Compare then shows where you match and where you differ. Start with how you decide and who does what, because those shape the rest.

What tends to come up

The same disagreement returns, about discipline, screens or who does more.
One of you feels overruled, or feels like the only one who enforces the rules.
You correct each other in front of the children.
What you agreed years ago no longer fits the child you have now.

Decisions to start with

Each links to a page with the options parents choose between, how strong the evidence is, and questions to ask each other.

Family-of-origin reflection
Looking back at how each of you was raised and deciding which parts you want to repeat and which you want to do differently.
4 options · Your call · During pregnancy
Tie-breaking when we disagree
What you will do when you each want something different and neither will budge.
5 options · Your call · During pregnancy
Feedback on each other's parenting
How you will tell each other what is working and what is not: in the moment, privately later, or on a regular check-in.
4 options · Your call · During pregnancy
Disagreeing in front of the child
Whether your child will see you disagree, and how: never, calmly with a visible resolution, or without a filter.
4 options · Evidence leans one way · Toddler
Overall stance: warmth and structure
Researchers describe parenting styles by two things: warmth and demands.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · During pregnancy
Who disciplines
Whether one parent is the disciplinarian, whoever is present handles it, or each parent does it in their own way.
3 options · Your call · Toddler
Mental load and task ownership
Who notices, plans and remembers everything a child needs (appointments, clothes, forms, supplies), not just who does the tasks.
4 options · Your call · During pregnancy
Protecting the couple relationship
How you will make time for each other as a couple once a baby arrives, from date nights to small daily rituals, rather than waiting until there is time.
4 options · Evidence leans one way · During pregnancy
The parent's own regulation and repair
How you handle your own anger and stress, and whether you apologize and make things right with your child after losing your temper.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · Ongoing
Revisiting agreements
How you will keep your decisions current as your child grows, whether that means a set check-in, a review at each age, or only when something goes wrong.
4 options · Your call · Ongoing

How to use it in your situation

1
Pick one area and go through it together, with Both chosen at the top. Each topic has questions to ask each other.
2
If you would rather not react to each other, answer separately first: switch names at the top, then open Compare, under Our plan, to see the differences.
3
Decide what you can. Flag the rest to discuss and come back to it; nothing is locked.

What it does not do

It is not therapy or counseling, and it will not resolve a serious conflict on its own. If arguments are frequent or feel unsafe, see a couples or family therapist.

Questions

Our children are older. Is this still useful?: Yes. The app covers decisions through the school and teen years, such as homework, phones, curfews and money, and you can filter to your children’s stage.
What if we disagree on almost everything?: Start small. Pick one area, compare, and settle one decision. The cornerstone decisions about how you decide together are a good first step, because they make later ones easier.
Can we change an answer later?: Yes. Nothing is locked. You can change an answer or reopen a decision at any time.

In a different situation?

Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical or legal advice.