Feedback on each other's parenting
How you will tell each other what is working and what is not: in the moment, privately later, or on a regular check-in. Tired new parents can hear small comments as big criticism.
How should we give each other feedback on our parenting?
In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Correct in the moment; Private debrief the same day; Scheduled check-in; Rarely raised. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: during pregnancy.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- During pregnancy
- Part of
- How we work as a team
Feedback on each other's parenting: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.
1. Correct in the moment
You say something right away when you think the other could do it differently.
2. Private debrief the same day
You wait and talk about it privately later the same day.
3. Scheduled check-in
You save feedback for a regular time you have both agreed on.
4. Rarely raised
You mostly keep opinions about each other's parenting to yourselves.
Feedback on each other's parenting: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
19% of criticized fathers said criticism made them want to be less involved
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
You will both do things the other would do differently. How and when you say so decides whether it is heard as help or as criticism. Agreeing on a time and tone in advance makes hard feedback easier to give.
Questions to ask each other
- How do you like to hear it when I think something could be done differently?
- What is a time a comment from me felt unfair or hurtful?
- Would a short weekly check-in help, or would it feel like a performance review?
More in How we decide together
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.