Who scales back at work
Which of you will reduce hours, step back or change jobs to make family life work, and by what rule: lower earner, more flexible job, both a little, or neither.
Which of us should cut back at work after the baby?
In short: Parents choose between 5 main approaches: Lower earner; Whoever has more flexibility; Both a little; Neither, outsource; Take turns by career phase. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: during pregnancy.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- During pregnancy
- Part of
- How we work as a team
Who scales back at work: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 5 approaches.
1. Lower earner
Whoever earns less reduces hours or steps back.
2. Whoever has more flexibility
Whoever's job bends more easily takes on more at home.
3. Both a little
Each of you cuts back somewhat.
4. Neither, outsource
Neither of you cuts back; you pay for care and help.
5. Take turns by career phase
You swap who steps back as each career goes through busy and quiet periods.
Who scales back at work: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
Flexibility is what couples actually use (70% call it a major factor); employment diverges sharply for mothers after a first child
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
When there is too much to do, something gives, and it is usually someone's working hours. Choosing by rule, such as flexibility or earnings, is different from letting it fall on whoever objects least. It is worth revisiting as jobs and children change.
Questions to ask each other
- If one of us needed to cut back, how would we decide who and for how long?
- What would cutting back cost each of us, in money and in how we feel about ourselves?
- Would we want to revisit this at set times?
More in Roles, work and the couple
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.