Partnership model

Partnership model: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 5 approaches.

1. 1. Caregiver plus breadwinner

   One parent earns the income and the other does most of the childcare.

2. 2. Lead parent plus supporting parent

   One parent is mainly in charge of the children and the other helps.

3. 3. Dual career with outsourcing

   Both of you work, and you pay for childcare and household help.

4. 4. Equally shared parenting

   You split paid work, childcare and housework as evenly as you can.

5. 5. Stay-at-home father

   The father stays home with the children while the mother works.

Partnership model: what does the evidence say?

Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Equal sharing goes with much higher satisfaction for both parents

Sources

• Pew

What else is worth knowing?

This is the overall shape of who earns and who cares. It affects income, careers, and how each of you feels about your days. Many couples drift into a model without choosing it, so it helps to say out loud what you each want and whether it can change later.

Questions to ask each other

• What does an ideal week of work and care look like for each of us?
• How do we each feel about the way our own parents split the work?
• What would make this split feel fair to both of us in two years?

More in Roles, work and the couple

• Who scales back at work
• Parental leave length
• How leave is split
• Night duty
• Mental load and task ownership
• Default parent for sick days, school and doctor
• Protecting the couple relationship
• Intimacy after the birth
• Each parent's own time and identity
• Burnout prevention
• When one parent travels or works long hours