Holidays
How you split holidays between families: alternating years, splitting the day, hosting at home, new traditions of your own, or traveling.
How do we split holidays between our families?
In short: Parents choose between 5 main approaches: Alternate families by year; Split the day; Host at home; New nuclear-family traditions; Travel instead. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: around the birth.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- Around the birth
- Part of
- The family system
Holidays: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 5 approaches.
1. Alternate families by year
You spend each holiday with one family and switch the next year.
2. Split the day
You see both families on the same day.
3. Host at home
Everyone comes to your home.
4. New nuclear-family traditions
You celebrate as just the three or four of you, in your own way.
5. Travel instead
You go away on a trip.
Holidays: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
No research located
What else is worth knowing?
With a child, both families often want you at the same celebrations. Couples alternate, split the day, host, or start their own traditions. Deciding a pattern once is easier than negotiating each year.
Questions to ask each other
- Which holidays matter most and to whom?
- How do we split time between families fairly?
- What would we like to start ourselves?
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First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.