Building a village
How you build a support network beyond family: paid help, swaps with friends and neighbors, parent groups, or an intentional community.
How do we build a support network as parents?
In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Nuclear self-reliance; Paid help; Swaps with friends and neighbours, parent groups; Intentional community. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: during pregnancy.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- During pregnancy
- Part of
- The family system
Building a village: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.
1. Nuclear self-reliance
The two of you manage without outside help.
2. Paid help
You pay for help such as a sitter, cleaner or night nurse.
3. Swaps with friends and neighbours, parent groups
You trade childcare and favors with friends and neighbors, and join parent groups.
4. Intentional community
You live in or build a close community that shares childcare and daily life.
Building a village: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
Burnout is higher where parents carry the load with less shared support
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
A village is the network of people who help you raise a child. Without nearby family, parents build one from friends, neighbors, paid help or parent groups. It takes effort to set up, ideally before you need it.
Questions to ask each other
- Who is in our village now?
- How could we build one with friends and neighbors?
- What help would we be comfortable asking for?
More in Extended family and community
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.