Family rituals and traditions: when should parents decide?

It is best settled around the birth.

Family rituals and traditions

Q: Family rituals and traditions: what are the options?

There are 3 main approaches: Inherit traditions; Blend both families'; Create new ones.

Q: Family rituals and traditions: what does the evidence say?

Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. A review of 50 years of research found that predictable family routines are associated with parental competence, child health, parent-child harmony and academic achievement, and that the symbolic and emotional side of rituals is linked to marital satisfaction and adolescents' sense of identity. Shared dinners are the best-studied ritual: in a national sample of nearly 18,000 US adolescents, family dinners went with better well-being even after controls and some tests of causation, though the benefits did not carry into adulthood. Which traditions to keep, blend or invent is a values choice

The regular practices that make your family yours, such as holidays, meals and bedtime customs, and whether you inherit them, blend both families' or invent new ones.

Which family rituals and traditions do we want?

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Inherit traditions; Blend both families'; Create new ones. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: around the birth.

Evidence: Evidence leans one way
Best settled: Around the birth
Part of: The family system

Family rituals and traditions: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 3 approaches.

1. Inherit traditions
You carry on the traditions you grew up with.
2. Blend both families'
You combine traditions from both your families.
3. Create new ones
You invent your own.

Family rituals and traditions: what does the evidence say?

Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. (Leans (correlational))

A review of 50 years of research found that predictable family routines are associated with parental competence, child health, parent-child harmony and academic achievement, and that the symbolic and emotional side of rituals is linked to marital satisfaction and adolescents' sense of identity. Shared dinners are the best-studied ritual: in a national sample of nearly 18,000 US adolescents, family dinners went with better well-being even after controls and some tests of causation, though the benefits did not carry into adulthood. Which traditions to keep, blend or invent is a values choice

Sources

What else is worth knowing?

Rituals are the things a family does regularly, from holiday customs to Friday pizza. They give children a sense of belonging. Each of you brings traditions, and you choose which to keep.

Questions to ask each other

What traditions from our childhoods do we want to keep?
What would we like to create ourselves?
How do we blend two families' traditions?

More in Values, character and family culture

First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.