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Grade expectations

What you expect from your child's grades: top marks, their personal best, effort over results, or leaving it to them.

What grades should we expect from our child?

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Top marks expected; "your personal best"; Effort and learning over marks; Marks are the child's business. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: school age.

Evidence
Your call
Best settled
School age
Part of
Learning & the wider world

Grade expectations: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.

  1. 1. Top marks expected

    You expect the highest grades.

  2. 2. "your personal best"

    You expect the child to do as well as they are able.

  3. 3. Effort and learning over marks

    You care about effort and learning more than the grade.

  4. 4. Marks are the child's business

    Grades are for the child to manage.

Grade expectations: what does the evidence say?

Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Excessive pressure to excel is a documented mental-health risk

Sources

What else is worth knowing?

What you expect about grades tells a child what matters to you. High expectations can motivate and can also create pressure. Partners often bring different standards from their own upbringing.

Questions to ask each other

  • What did grades mean in our families?
  • What do we want grades to mean to our child?
  • What would we say about a poor report card?

More in School and academics

First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.