Birthdays and gifts

Birthdays and gifts: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 8 approaches.

1. 1. Family only

   You celebrate with family only.

2. 2. A few friends at home

   You invite a few friends to your home.

3. 3. Whole class

   You invite every child in the class.

4. 4. Venue event; no gifts

   You hold the party at a paid venue, and ask guests not to bring presents.

5. 5. Book swap or charity

   Guests bring a book to swap or give to a charity.

6. 6. Normal gifts; relatives' gifts unlimited

   Guests bring ordinary presents, and relatives may give as much as they like.

7. 7. Wish list

   You give relatives a list of what the child would like.

8. 8. Education-fund contributions

   You ask relatives to add to the child's education savings.

Birthdays and gifts: what does the evidence say?

Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

No outcome research gathered on this yet — treat it as a preference.

What else is worth knowing?

Birthday parties range from a family dinner to an event for the whole class. Gifts raise their own questions: how many, from whom, and whether to redirect them. Setting a pattern early is easier than changing it later.

Questions to ask each other

• What do we remember from our birthdays?
• How big should celebrations be?
• How will we tell relatives about gifts?

More in Money, chores and responsibility

• Baby budget and income drop
• Education savings
• Allowance model
• The child's money: structure and tools
• Money transparency
• Spending on the child and materialism
• Chore philosophy
• Chore start age and enforcement
• Self-care skills timeline
• Who pays for big items (phone, car, university)
• Investing lessons and inheritance