Spending on the child and materialism
How much you spend on your child and what that teaches, from a minimalist approach and experiences over things to matching what their peers have.
How much should we spend on our child?
In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Minimalist, experiences over things; Fixed budget per occasion; Match peer norms; Generous. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: toddler.
- Evidence
- Evidence leans one way
- Best settled
- Toddler
- Part of
- The family system
Spending on the child and materialism: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.
1. Minimalist, experiences over things
You buy little and prefer outings and experiences.
2. Fixed budget per occasion
You set a spending limit for each birthday or holiday.
3. Match peer norms
You spend about what other families around you spend.
4. Generous
You spend freely on the child.
Spending on the child and materialism: what does the evidence say?
Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational.
Using goods as rewards or signs of affection is associated with more materialistic adults
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
How much you buy shapes what a child expects. Families range from minimal to generous, and partners often differ. Grandparents and peers add their own pressure.
Questions to ask each other
- How much do we want to spend on things our child asks for?
- How will we respond to "everyone has one"?
- What do we want to give in experiences?
More in Money, chores and responsibility
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.