Sex education: message

Sex education: message: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.

1. 1. Abstinence

   You teach that sex should wait, usually until marriage.

2. 2. Delay encouraged plus full contraception information

   You encourage waiting and also explain contraception fully.

3. 3. Comprehensive, consent-inclusive

   You cover bodies, contraception, consent, relationships and pleasure.

4. 4. "when you are ready" normalization (the Dutch model)

   You treat teenage sexuality as normal and focus on readiness and care, as is common in the Netherlands.

Sex education: message: what does the evidence say?

Well established. Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. (Settled against abstinence-only)

Abstinence-only is ineffective; delay plus contraception information works

Sources

• UNESCO guidance

What else is worth knowing?

This is about what you want your child to hear from you about sex. Research finds that comprehensive education does not lead teens to have sex earlier, and that abstinence-only programs do not delay it. The values you attach are yours to choose.

Questions to ask each other

• What do we want our teenager to know about sex, consent and contraception?
• How do we handle values we hold alongside giving full information?
• What would we say if they ask us whether we waited?

More in The teen years

• Default autonomy stance
• Sex education at home: timing
• Dating age and rules
• A partner sleeping over
• Contraception access
• Alcohol
• Cannabis, vaping and other drugs
• Parties and curfews
• Driving
• Car access and costs
• Teen jobs
• Appearance: hair, clothes, piercings, tattoos
• Friends the parents dislike
• Teen privacy and confidential care
• If a child comes out or questions gender