Video games: time, violence, online chat
Which games, how long, and whether your child can play and chat online with others.
What are our rules for video games?
In short: Parents choose between 6 main approaches: No games; Weekend-only or capped; Balanced with obligations; No limits; offline only; Friends only; Open play. Evidence: experts disagree. Credible bodies or researchers disagree — decide whose guidance you'll weigh. Best settled: school age.
- Evidence
- Experts disagree
- Best settled
- School age
- Part of
- Learning & the wider world
Video games: time, violence, online chat: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 6 approaches.
1. No games
The child does not play video games.
2. Weekend-only or capped
The child plays only on weekends or up to a set time.
3. Balanced with obligations
The child plays once homework and other duties are done.
4. No limits; offline only
The child plays as much as they like, but never connected to other players.
5. Friends only
The child plays online only with people they know in real life.
6. Open play
The child plays online with anyone.
Video games: time, violence, online chat: what does the evidence say?
Experts disagree. Credible bodies or researchers disagree — decide whose guidance you'll weigh. (Contested (small effects))
APA: a small link between violent games and minor aggression, none established to violence; others dispute even that
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
Games vary widely, from puzzles to shooters, and many let players talk to strangers. The decisions are how much time, what content, and who the child can talk to. Age ratings give a starting point.
Questions to ask each other
- Which games are fine, and which are not?
- Who may our child play with online?
- How will we know if gaming is crowding out other things?
More in Screens, phones and digital life
- Posting the child's photos
- Parents' own phone use
- Screens before age 2
- Daily limits, ages 2-5
- How limits are set, ages 6-12
- Content, co-viewing and background TV
- Screens as a tool (meals, cars, restaurants, meltdowns)
- Personal tablet, YouTube and short video
- Parental controls and a family media plan
- First device and first smartphone
- Social media start age
- Acting alone or with other parents
- Phones in bedrooms and at school
- Monitoring messages and location
- AI companions and chatbots
- AI for schoolwork
- Online safety, sexting and pornography
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.