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Toilet-training motivation and setbacks

How you encourage potty training and respond when it goes wrong: whether you use praise, stickers or treats, and what you do about accidents, refusal and steps backward. Setbacks are a normal part of the process.

Should we use rewards for potty training, and what about setbacks?

In short: Parents choose between 5 main approaches: No rewards; Praise only (CPS); Sticker charts; Treats; pause for 1-3 months; Push through. Evidence: well established. Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. Best settled: toddler.

Evidence
Well established
Best settled
Toddler
Part of
Raising the child

Toilet-training motivation and setbacks: what are the options?

Parents usually land on one of these 5 approaches.

  1. 1. No rewards

    You do not reward toilet use.

  2. 2. Praise only (CPS)

    You praise but give no prizes.

  3. 3. Sticker charts

    The child earns stickers for using the toilet.

  4. 4. Treats; pause for 1-3 months

    The child earns small treats; and if it is not working you stop for a few months.

  5. 5. Push through

    You keep going despite setbacks.

Toilet-training motivation and setbacks: what does the evidence say?

Well established. Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. (Settled against coercion)

Pediatric bodies discourage pressure and punishment. The Canadian Paediatric Society says rewards are not necessary and praise is enough, and that if a child refuses you should stop for 1 to 3 months. In one study 22% of children refused to poo in the toilet for a month or more; it is linked to constipation and usually resolves without treatment

Sources

What else is worth knowing?

Accidents are expected and are not a sign of failure. The Canadian Paediatric Society advises staying calm, never punishing, and taking a break of 1 to 3 months if a child refuses. Some children will pee in the potty but hold their poo or ask for a diaper to poo in; that is common, is often tied to constipation, and letting them use a diaper for now is the usual advice. See a doctor if your child is not using the toilet by 4, slips back after six months of doing well, is holding in poo, or has pain or blood.

Questions to ask each other

  • Would we use rewards, and if so what kind?
  • How will we react to accidents?
  • When would we stop and try again later?

For the full picture, read the potty training guide: signs of readiness, the methods compared, setbacks and nights.

More in Health, body and toileting

First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.