Number of children, and when we are done
How many children you each want and how you decide when your family is complete.
How many children do we want, and how will we know we are done?
In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: One; Two; Three or more; Decide after the first. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: during pregnancy.
- Evidence
- Your call
- Best settled
- During pregnancy
- Part of
- The family system
Number of children, and when we are done: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 4 approaches.
1. One
You plan to have one child.
2. Two
You plan to have two.
3. Three or more
You plan to have three or more.
4. Decide after the first
You will see how the first goes before deciding.
Number of children, and when we are done: what does the evidence say?
Your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.
Americans split between two (44%) and three or more (45%) as ideal; no child-outcome case against one
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
How many children to have is among the most important things for a couple to agree on. Views often change after the first child. Research does not find only children worse off.
Questions to ask each other
- How many children does each of us picture?
- What would make us want another, or stop?
- How would we handle disagreeing on this?
More in Family size and siblings
First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.