Fears and anxiety
How you respond when your child is afraid: avoiding what scares them, comforting them while gently facing it, or pushing them through.
How do we help a child with fears and anxiety?
In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Accommodate and avoid triggers; Comfort plus gentle exposure; Push through. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: preschool.
- Evidence
- Evidence leans one way
- Best settled
- Preschool
- Part of
- Raising the child
Fears and anxiety: what are the options?
Parents usually land on one of these 3 approaches.
1. Accommodate and avoid triggers
You keep the child away from what frightens them.
2. Comfort plus gentle exposure
You comfort the child and help them face the fear in small steps.
3. Push through
You insist the child face the fear now.
Fears and anxiety: what does the evidence say?
Evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. (Leans toward the middle)
A parent-only program that reduces accommodation matched child therapy in a trial of 124 children
Sources
What else is worth knowing?
Avoiding what a child fears brings relief now and can make the fear grow. Gradual, supported exposure is the usual advice. Persistent anxiety that interferes with daily life is worth raising with a professional.
Questions to ask each other
- What were you afraid of as a child and what helped?
- How would we respond to a fear that seems irrational?
- Would we avoid a trigger or help our child face it?
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First published 2026-10-03. Last updated 2026-10-05. General information, not medical advice.