Emotions and resilience: 8 decisions to make together
How you respond to big feelings, fear, failure and frustration.
1. Responding to big feelings
What you do when your child is upset, angry or sad: validating every feeling and limiting only behavior, acknowledging briefly, distracting, minimizing or disapproving.
5 options · Evidence leans one way · Toddler
2. Struggle, frustration and failure
How much you let your child struggle and fail before helping, from clearing every obstacle to deliberately toughening them up.
5 options · Experts disagree · Toddler
3. Fears and anxiety
How you respond when your child is afraid: avoiding what scares them, comforting them while gently facing it, or pushing them through.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · Preschool
4. Where self-esteem comes from
What you think builds a child's sense of worth: frequent affirmation, warmth with honest feedback, real responsibility, or achievement.
4 options · Evidence leans one way · Preschool
5. Boredom and downtime
Whether you fill your child's time or deliberately leave unstructured space, including letting them be bored.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · Preschool
6. Seeking mental-health help for the child
When you would involve a professional about your child's emotions or behavior: at early signs, after the pediatrician, or only if serious.
3 options · Your call · School age
7. Gendered emotional norms
Whether you treat sons and daughters the same when they show feelings, or hold different expectations such as telling boys to toughen up.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · Toddler
8. The parent's own regulation and repair
How you handle your own anger and stress, and whether you apologize and make things right with your child after losing your temper.
3 options · Evidence leans one way · Ongoing