# Death, hard news and hard questions

**How do we talk to our child about death and hard news?**

How you talk with your child about death, illness and frightening news: shielding them, answering simply when asked, or explaining proactively.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Shield; Simple truth when it comes up; Proactive, concrete explanations. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: preschool.

- Area: Values, character and family culture
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Preschool
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/values-character-and-family-culture--death-hard-news-and-hard-questions

## Death, hard news and hard questions: what are the options?

1. **Shield**: You keep hard subjects away from the child.
2. **Simple truth when it comes up**: You answer briefly and truthfully when the subject arises.
3. **Proactive, concrete explanations**: You bring the subject up yourself and explain in plain, direct words.

## Death, hard news and hard questions: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Common Sense Media: shield and reassure under-7s; add context for 8-12s; discuss sources with teens

Sources:

- [Common Sense Media](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/explaining-the-news-to-our-kids)

## What else is worth knowing?

Children meet death through a pet, a grandparent or the news. Child-development experts advise simple, truthful words and avoiding phrases such as went to sleep. How much you bring up before it happens is a choice.

## Questions to ask each other

- How did our families talk about death?
- What would we say if a grandparent died?
- What do we do when something scary is on the news?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=values-character-and-family-culture&topic=values-character-and-family-culture--death-hard-news-and-hard-questions