# A partner sleeping over

**Should we let our teen's partner sleep over?**

Whether a teen's boyfriend or girlfriend may stay the night at your home.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Not under our roof; Door open, common areas only; Allowed for steady partners at 16-17; The teen decides. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: teen.

- Area: The teen years
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Teen
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/the-teen-years--a-partner-sleeping-over

## A partner sleeping over: what are the options?

1. **Not under our roof**: A partner may not stay the night in your home.
2. **Door open, common areas only**: A partner may visit but only in shared rooms or with the door open.
3. **Allowed for steady partners at 16-17**: A long-term partner may stay over once the teen is sixteen or seventeen.
4. **The teen decides**: The teen decides.

## A partner sleeping over: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

About 9 in 10 Dutch parents would consider it; about 9 in 10 American parents would not; a cultural contrast, not outcome proof

Sources:

- [The Globe and Mail](https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/the-teen-sex-sleepover-why-so-squeamish-mom-and-dad/article599721/)

## What else is worth knowing?

This is whether a teen's boyfriend or girlfriend may stay the night. Families differ sharply, and so do cultures. It is easier to settle before it is asked.

## Questions to ask each other

- How would we feel about it, and what would change our minds?
- What would we tell the other parents?
- How would we explain our rule to our teen?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=the-teen-years&topic=the-teen-years--a-partner-sleeping-over