# Bedtime structure

**How strict should bedtime be?**

How firm bedtime is: a fixed early time and routine, a flexible window, or letting the child decide when they are tired.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Fixed early bedtime and routine; Flexible window; Child-regulated. Evidence: well established. Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. Best settled: toddler.

- Area: Sleep
- Evidence: Well established
- Best settled: Toddler
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/sleep--bedtime-structure

## Bedtime structure: what are the options?

1. **Fixed early bedtime and routine**: The same early bedtime and steps every night.
2. **Flexible window**: Bedtime falls within a range and the routine adjusts.
3. **Child-regulated**: Your child goes to bed when they feel tired.

## Bedtime structure: what does the evidence say?

**Well established.** Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. (Settled on hours)

Sleep needs are settled: 11-14 hours at ages 1-2, 9-12 at 6-12, 8-10 for teens; the method is a preference

Sources:

- [AAP News](https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/6630/AAP-endorses-new-recommendations-on-sleep-times)

## What else is worth knowing?

A regular bedtime routine, such as bath, book and bed, helps many children settle. How fixed the time is, and who does it, varies between families. It often becomes one of the day's main rituals.

## Questions to ask each other

- What does a good bedtime routine look like to you?
- How strict do we want to be about the time?
- Who does bedtime, and do we take turns?

---

General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=sleep&topic=sleep--bedtime-structure