# Grade expectations

**What grades should we expect from our child?**

What you expect from your child's grades: top marks, their personal best, effort over results, or leaving it to them.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Top marks expected; "your personal best"; Effort and learning over marks; Marks are the child's business. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: school age.

- Area: School and academics
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: School age
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/school-and-academics--grade-expectations

## Grade expectations: what are the options?

1. **Top marks expected**: You expect the highest grades.
2. **"your personal best"**: You expect the child to do as well as they are able.
3. **Effort and learning over marks**: You care about effort and learning more than the grade.
4. **Marks are the child's business**: Grades are for the child to manage.

## Grade expectations: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Excessive pressure to excel is a documented mental-health risk

Sources:

- [Luthar et al.](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42844-020-00009-3)

## What else is worth knowing?

What you expect about grades tells a child what matters to you. High expectations can motivate and can also create pressure. Partners often bring different standards from their own upbringing.

## Questions to ask each other

- What did grades mean in our families?
- What do we want grades to mean to our child?
- What would we say about a poor report card?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=school-and-academics&topic=school-and-academics--grade-expectations