# Parents' own conduct while in charge

**What are our rules for drinking, cannabis and phone use while looking after the child?**

What you each agree to do or avoid while responsible for your child, such as drinking alcohol or using drugs.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Never impaired while caring for the child; One designated sober parent; Moderate use is fine. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: around the birth.

- Area: Safety, risk and independence
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Around the birth
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/safety-risk-and-independence--parents-own-conduct-while-in-charge

## Parents' own conduct while in charge: what are the options?

1. **Never impaired while caring for the child**: Neither of you drinks or uses cannabis while looking after the child.
2. **One designated sober parent**: One of you always stays sober.
3. **Moderate use is fine**: Moderate drinking or use is fine while caring for the child.

## Parents' own conduct while in charge: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. (Values, with a safety floor)

Court templates include a no-alcohol-or-drugs clause during parenting time; no outcome evidence gathered

Sources:

- [Maryland Courts](https://www.courts.state.md.us/sites/default/files/import/family/pdfs/mdparentingplanpacket.pdf)

## What else is worth knowing?

This is about alcohol, cannabis and anything else that affects your judgment while you are responsible for a child. It matters most with babies, especially for safe sleep and driving. Couples often have different assumptions and have never said them aloud.

## Questions to ask each other

- What do we each think is okay when we are in charge of our child?
- What is our plan if one of us has had a drink?
- Who drives and who stays alert?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=safety-risk-and-independence&topic=safety-risk-and-independence--parents-own-conduct-while-in-charge