# Protecting the couple relationship

**How do we protect our relationship after having a baby?**

How you will make time for each other as a couple once a baby arrives, from date nights to small daily rituals, rather than waiting until there is time.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Couple time resumes later; Scheduled date nights; Small daily rituals; Formal preparation. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: during pregnancy.

- Area: Roles, work and the couple
- Evidence: Evidence leans one way
- Best settled: During pregnancy
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/roles-work-and-the-couple--protecting-the-couple-relationship

## Protecting the couple relationship: what are the options?

1. **Couple time resumes later**: You accept that time as a couple will wait until the baby is older.
2. **Scheduled date nights**: You put regular date nights on the calendar.
3. **Small daily rituals**: You keep small daily habits, such as a coffee together or a check-in before bed.
4. **Formal preparation**: You take a class or see a counselor to prepare your relationship for a baby.

## Protecting the couple relationship: what does the evidence say?

**Evidence leans one way.** Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational.

The dip is real, medium-sized in year one and smaller in year two; an older meta-analysis found non-parents decline similarly

Sources:

- [Frontiers in Psychology](https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.901362/full)
- [Mitnick et al.](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/40679126_Changes_in_Relationship_Satisfaction_Across_the_Transition_to_Parenthood_A_Meta-Analysis)

## What else is worth knowing?

Relationship satisfaction commonly dips after a first baby, for both partners. Protecting time together, in whatever form fits your life, is one way couples guard against it. Small daily contact often matters as much as big evenings out.

## Questions to ask each other

- What helps us feel close when we are tired and busy?
- What is one small ritual we could keep no matter how hectic things get?
- How will we tell each other we are feeling disconnected without it sounding like blame?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=roles-work-and-the-couple&topic=roles-work-and-the-couple--protecting-the-couple-relationship