# Birthdays and gifts

**How should we handle birthday parties and gifts?**

How big birthday celebrations and gifts are: family only, a few friends, the whole class or a venue, and whether you ask for no gifts.

In short: Parents choose between 8 main approaches: Family only; A few friends at home; Whole class; Venue event; no gifts; Book swap or charity; Normal gifts; relatives' gifts unlimited; Wish list; Education-fund contributions. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: toddler.

- Area: Money, chores and responsibility
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Toddler
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/money-chores-and-responsibility--birthdays-and-gifts

## Birthdays and gifts: what are the options?

1. **Family only**: You celebrate with family only.
2. **A few friends at home**: You invite a few friends to your home.
3. **Whole class**: You invite every child in the class.
4. **Venue event; no gifts**: You hold the party at a paid venue, and ask guests not to bring presents.
5. **Book swap or charity**: Guests bring a book to swap or give to a charity.
6. **Normal gifts; relatives' gifts unlimited**: Guests bring ordinary presents, and relatives may give as much as they like.
7. **Wish list**: You give relatives a list of what the child would like.
8. **Education-fund contributions**: You ask relatives to add to the child's education savings.

## Birthdays and gifts: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

No outcome research gathered on this yet — treat it as a preference.

## What else is worth knowing?

Birthday parties range from a family dinner to an event for the whole class. Gifts raise their own questions: how many, from whom, and whether to redirect them. Setting a pattern early is easier than changing it later.

## Questions to ask each other

- What do we remember from our birthdays?
- How big should celebrations be?
- How will we tell relatives about gifts?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=money-chores-and-responsibility&topic=money-chores-and-responsibility--birthdays-and-gifts