# Revisiting agreements

**How often should we revisit our parenting agreements?**

How you will keep your decisions current as your child grows, whether that means a set check-in, a review at each age, or only when something goes wrong.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Decide once; Revisit at each age stage; Regular standing check-in; Only when conflict arises. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: ongoing.

- Area: How we decide together
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Ongoing
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/how-we-decide-together--revisiting-agreements

## Revisiting agreements: what are the options?

1. **Decide once**: Once you agree on something, it stays decided.
2. **Revisit at each age stage**: You look again at your decisions each time your child enters a new stage.
3. **Regular standing check-in**: You set a regular time, such as monthly, to check what is working.
4. **Only when conflict arises**: You only reopen a decision when it causes a problem.

## Revisiting agreements: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

No framework reviewed includes a revisit schedule; a gap in the field

## What else is worth knowing?

What works for a newborn will not work for a toddler or a teenager, and your views will change too. Deciding how you will revisit choices keeps old agreements from becoming a source of resentment. A regular check-in also gives a natural place to raise small issues.

## Questions to ask each other

- How often should we sit down and ask whether what we decided still works?
- What would be a sign that we need to revisit something sooner?
- Is it okay to change our minds, and how do we tell each other when we have?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=how-we-decide-together&topic=how-we-decide-together--revisiting-agreements