# Information symmetry

**How do both parents stay equally informed about the child?**

Making sure both of you have the same information: appointments, portal logins, contacts, schedules. Without it, one parent becomes the manager and the other the helper.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Both parents on every portal, contact list and calendar; One keeper who briefs the other; Ad hoc. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: around the birth.

- Area: How we decide together
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Around the birth
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/how-we-decide-together--information-symmetry

## Information symmetry: what are the options?

1. **Both parents on every portal, contact list and calendar**: Both of you have access to every account, contact and calendar about your child.
2. **One keeper who briefs the other**: One of you keeps track of everything and updates the other.
3. **Ad hoc**: No system; information is shared as it comes up.

## Information symmetry: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Raised by court templates and Fair Play; no outcome research

Sources:

- [Maryland Courts](https://www.courts.state.md.us/sites/default/files/import/family/pdfs/mdparentingplanpacket.pdf)

## What else is worth knowing?

If only one parent has the logins, phone numbers and schedule, that parent becomes the manager by default. Sharing access means either of you can handle an appointment, a form or an emergency. It is a practical step that supports a fair division of labor.

## Questions to ask each other

- Which of us will be the contact for the pediatrician and daycare, and does that feel fair?
- What would help both of us stay equally informed without one of us becoming the manager?
- Should we both have access to every account, calendar and contact list?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=how-we-decide-together&topic=how-we-decide-together--information-symmetry