# Feedback on each other's parenting

**How should we give each other feedback on our parenting?**

How you will tell each other what is working and what is not: in the moment, privately later, or on a regular check-in. Tired new parents can hear small comments as big criticism.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Correct in the moment; Private debrief the same day; Scheduled check-in; Rarely raised. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: during pregnancy.

- Area: How we decide together
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: During pregnancy
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/how-we-decide-together--feedback-on-each-other-s-parenting

## Feedback on each other's parenting: what are the options?

1. **Correct in the moment**: You say something right away when you think the other could do it differently.
2. **Private debrief the same day**: You wait and talk about it privately later the same day.
3. **Scheduled check-in**: You save feedback for a regular time you have both agreed on.
4. **Rarely raised**: You mostly keep opinions about each other's parenting to yourselves.

## Feedback on each other's parenting: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

19% of criticized fathers said criticism made them want to be less involved

Sources:

- [Mott Poll](https://mottpoll.org/reports/parenting-put-downs-how-criticism-impacts-fathers)

## What else is worth knowing?

You will both do things the other would do differently. How and when you say so decides whether it is heard as help or as criticism. Agreeing on a time and tone in advance makes hard feedback easier to give.

## Questions to ask each other

- How do you like to hear it when I think something could be done differently?
- What is a time a comment from me felt unfair or hurtful?
- Would a short weekly check-in help, or would it feel like a performance review?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=how-we-decide-together&topic=how-we-decide-together--feedback-on-each-other-s-parenting