# The non-nursing parent's role

**What is the non-nursing parent's role in feeding the baby?**

What the parent who is not feeding the baby from the breast does at feeds and around them: diapers, burping, settling, bottles or night feeds. It decides how the load is shared in the early weeks.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Owns non-feeding care (diapers, burping, settling); Gives a daily bottle; Shares night feeds; Equal split through pumping or formula. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: during pregnancy.

- Area: Feeding the baby
- Evidence: Evidence leans one way
- Best settled: During pregnancy
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/feeding-the-baby--the-non-nursing-parent-s-role

## The non-nursing parent's role: what are the options?

1. **Owns non-feeding care (diapers, burping, settling)**: The other parent handles everything around the feed: diapers, burping and settling.
2. **Gives a daily bottle**: The other parent gives one bottle a day, of pumped milk or formula.
3. **Shares night feeds**: You take turns with night feeds, using bottles.
4. **Equal split through pumping or formula**: You split feeding evenly by using pumped milk or formula.

## The non-nursing parent's role: what does the evidence say?

**Evidence leans one way.** Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational.

Systematic reviews find that a partner's support matters for breastfeeding: in one review of seven studies, four found that verbal encouragement increased duration and exclusivity, alongside practical help preventing and managing difficulties and taking on household and child care; a meta-analysis of father-support interventions reported more exclusive breastfeeding in the first week after birth (RR 1.28) (International Breastfeeding Journal, 2024; summary only). How feeds, nights and bottles are split between you is a preference; no research was found on night-shift arrangements

Sources:

- [Systematic review, PMC](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7014137/)
- [International Breastfeeding Journal, 2024](https://internationalbreastfeedingjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13006-024-00694-1)

## What else is worth knowing?

When one parent is nursing, the other can feel sidelined or carry everything else. A partner's encouragement and practical help make breastfeeding more likely to continue. Agreeing on a clear role, including at night, keeps the load fair.

## Questions to ask each other

- What would you like to be responsible for at feeds and around them?
- If you are feeding at night, what does the other parent do?
- How will we know if one of us feels left out or overloaded?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=feeding-the-baby&topic=feeding-the-baby--the-non-nursing-parent-s-role