# Sibling conflict

**How should we handle sibling fights?**

How you respond when siblings fight: staying out, coaching and mediating, judging and imposing a solution, or separating them.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Stay out; Coach and mediate; Adjudicate and impose a solution; Separate them. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: toddler.

- Area: Family size and siblings
- Evidence: Evidence leans one way
- Best settled: Toddler
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/family-size-and-siblings--sibling-conflict

## Sibling conflict: what are the options?

1. **Stay out**: You let the children sort it out.
2. **Coach and mediate**: You help each child say what they want and find a solution together.
3. **Adjudicate and impose a solution**: You hear both sides and decide.
4. **Separate them**: You send them to different rooms.

## Sibling conflict: what does the evidence say?

**Evidence leans one way.** Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational.

Brief training of parents as mediators reduced conflict and built children's negotiating skills

Sources:

- [Ross and colleagues](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/271753462_Parent_Mediation_Empowers_Sibling_Conflict_Resolution)

## What else is worth knowing?

Siblings argue often, and it is a normal part of growing up together. Parents choose between staying out, helping the children solve it, and deciding for them. Physical harm always calls for stepping in.

## Questions to ask each other

- How did we and our siblings fight and how did our parents react?
- When would we step in between our children?
- How do we want siblings to repair after a fight?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=family-size-and-siblings&topic=family-size-and-siblings--sibling-conflict