# Responding to crying

**How quickly should we respond when the baby cries?**

How quickly and how you respond when your baby cries: immediately every time, after a pause to observe, or letting them fuss for set periods.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Respond immediately every time; Respond promptly after a brief pause to observe; Let the baby fuss for set periods. Evidence: well established. Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. Best settled: around the birth.

- Area: Everyday baby care
- Evidence: Well established
- Best settled: Around the birth
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/everyday-baby-care--responding-to-crying

## Responding to crying: what are the options?

1. **Respond immediately every time**: You go to the baby right away, each time.
2. **Respond promptly after a brief pause to observe**: You wait a moment to see what the baby needs, then respond.
3. **Let the baby fuss for set periods**: You let the baby cry for planned stretches before going in.

## Responding to crying: what does the evidence say?

**Well established.** Guidance and evidence agree. The real question is whether you'll follow it. (Settled for young infants)

AAP: a young baby cannot be spoiled by attention, and prompt response in the first months means less crying overall

Sources:

- [HealthyChildren.org](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/Pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx)

## What else is worth knowing?

Crying is how a baby communicates hunger, discomfort or a need for closeness. In the early months you cannot spoil a baby by responding. How fast you respond later on, especially at night, connects to your approach to sleep.

## Questions to ask each other

- What do you imagine you will do when the baby cries at night?
- How long would you wait before picking the baby up, and why?
- What is our plan for when one of us is too frazzled to cope?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=everyday-baby-care&topic=everyday-baby-care--responding-to-crying