# Fears and anxiety

**How do we help a child with fears and anxiety?**

How you respond when your child is afraid: avoiding what scares them, comforting them while gently facing it, or pushing them through.

In short: Parents choose between 3 main approaches: Accommodate and avoid triggers; Comfort plus gentle exposure; Push through. Evidence: evidence leans one way. Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. Best settled: preschool.

- Area: Emotions and resilience
- Evidence: Evidence leans one way
- Best settled: Preschool
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/emotions-and-resilience--fears-and-anxiety

## Fears and anxiety: what are the options?

1. **Accommodate and avoid triggers**: You keep the child away from what frightens them.
2. **Comfort plus gentle exposure**: You comfort the child and help them face the fear in small steps.
3. **Push through**: You insist the child face the fear now.

## Fears and anxiety: what does the evidence say?

**Evidence leans one way.** Research or guidance points in a direction, but it's thin, small or correlational. (Leans toward the middle)

A parent-only program that reduces accommodation matched child therapy in a trial of 124 children

Sources:

- [JAACAP](https://adaa.org/sites/default/files/JAACAP%20SPACE.pdf)

## What else is worth knowing?

Avoiding what a child fears brings relief now and can make the fear grow. Gradual, supported exposure is the usual advice. Persistent anxiety that interferes with daily life is worth raising with a professional.

## Questions to ask each other

- What were you afraid of as a child and what helped?
- How would we respond to a fear that seems irrational?
- Would we avoid a trigger or help our child face it?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=emotions-and-resilience&topic=emotions-and-resilience--fears-and-anxiety