# Sharing and toy-taking

**Should we make our child share?**

How you handle disputes over toys: requiring sharing on request, setting timed turns, letting a child keep a toy until done, or staying out of it.

In short: Parents choose between 4 main approaches: Must share when asked; Adult-timed turns; "your turn until you're done"; Adults stay out unless unsafe. Evidence: your call. No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide. Best settled: toddler.

- Area: Discipline and behavior
- Evidence: Your call
- Best settled: Toddler
- First published: 2026-10-03
- Last updated: 2026-10-05
- Page: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/topics/discipline-and-behavior--sharing-and-toy-taking

## Sharing and toy-taking: what are the options?

1. **Must share when asked**: A child must hand over a toy when another child asks.
2. **Adult-timed turns**: An adult sets how long each child gets.
3. **"your turn until you're done"**: A child keeps the toy until they are finished, then the next child has it.
4. **Adults stay out unless unsafe**: Children sort it out themselves unless someone may get hurt.

## Sharing and toy-taking: what does the evidence say?

**Your call.** No outcome evidence picks a winner. Preference, culture, money and logistics decide.

Authors' opinions only

Sources:

- [Lansbury](https://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/04/4-reasons-to-relax-about-sibling-toy-taking/)

## What else is worth knowing?

Young children are not yet able to share willingly, so sharing has to be taught or managed. Approaches differ on whether a child must give up a toy on request or may finish their turn. This comes up constantly at playdates.

## Questions to ask each other

- How do we want to handle toys at playdates?
- Should a child have to give up a toy when asked?
- When would we step in and when would we let them sort it out?

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General information, not medical advice. Two parents can each answer this and compare: https://www.raisingyourchild.com/explore?cat=discipline-and-behavior&topic=discipline-and-behavior--sharing-and-toy-taking